A War in My Members

To have a living spirit in a body of flesh is a constant struggle between two competing desires: one unto God, and one unto lust. Every day the former must beat down the latter. It is no gentle task, that which Paul called a crucifixion of the flesh.

The former is born of God, grafted into a spiritual family, and presently inherent of all the holiness and righteousness of Christ given to him by none other than Christ himself. He is promised victory by the Victor if he will but take it.

The latter is estranged from God, resistant to all that pleases not itself, and with all its might would harden the heart in the deceitfulness of sin. His proper fate is a spiritual pillory, kept under, lest he should make one a castaway.

There is no concession to be made and there is no truce that may stand between these natures, for the latter, though often beaten and scourged and slain, resurrects himself daily.

Some days he comes violently, raging as if against even the light of the new day, ready to kill or be killed. At other times, slyly, as though in submission. But give him yet one occasion or chance to strike against the former and he will do so with all the lust he can muster.

No matter how boldly or how silently he awakes, he must be killed; Thrust through; Brutalized.

Yet, though these two are so violently opposed in every aspect of their natures...

...they are both me.

There can be no discharge in that war, for it is waged against myself.